Your pain may be rooted in your old pain
June 14, 2016
Growing up as children we are constantly observing the world around us, absorbing it, and learning what lessons we need to learn to help us to prepare for the road ahead.
So too with attachment. We look to our parents to teach us what love looks like and how to participate in it.
What we learn at this time goes on to form an unconscious framework which determines who we fall in love with as adults.
If there was pain involved during your childhood lessons on love and attachment, you may now, as an adult, associate love with pain.
You may then seek out relationships that resemble what you learnt to be love, but in reality you’re also seeking out pain — because it’s all you know.
So too, when the relationship ends, you will not fall back on a cushion of self-acceptance and unconditional love, unless that’s the type of environment you grew up in.
Instead, you may feel scared and deeply hurt, as you did as a child.
So in effect, a relationship breakup as an adult has brought back childhood wounds you were not aware of.