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Why did she do X on social media?

Jesse Martin

January 05, 2021

A common question I get is after guys see something their ex does on Facebook or some other social media platform and they try to interpret what it means.

Here's an example:

I don’t have Instagram, but my friends told me that she has been posting flowers on her page. One time she posted flowers for Valentine’s Day and two times she posted flowers in March. My friends sent me the pictures. That was heartbreaking. Many things started crossing my mind: who’s sending her flowers, is she talking to someone else, is she seeing someone else, etc.

She also started using phrases such as: if it’s meant to be it will be, if it’s God’s willing. I feel she was throwing hints for our relationship. She’s never said such things before. We always used to talk about plans, living together, engagement, marriage, kids, traveling.

Here's another:

What’s your perspective on this quote?

“Im oxygen and he’s dying to breath”

I somehow stumbled on an IG page (sponsored/recommended in feed) and saw she liked this post recently. I find it interesting she’d think I’m “dying to breath” when I haven’t spoke to her since the night we broke up, haven’t viewed her stories, etc. not a single shred of contact, communication, or attention from me.

We still follow each other though and she views every single story I post, and likes my posts usually everytime I post. We don’t hate each other or anything. It was a peaceful, civil, and somewhat ‘nice’ amicable break up.

After a breakup our mind is distorted in a particular direction: a hyper focus on her and on the things she says and does.

The truth is, why she posted something or liked something else doesn't matter. It matters to you right now because you're viewing the world through a lens which is hyper-focused on your ex, but 1 year down the line, when you've disentangled yourself from your ex, it will likely not have mattered anything at all.

So the answer to the question: What does it mean when she does X on Facebook or Instagram? Is, get her out of your social media OR get off social media yourself. Your mind is very prone to getting into thought loops that converge around her. You want to avoid that, because they're deeply unpleasant places to be in mentally and they're hard to get yourself out of.

Block her. Do it in a friendly way if you're still on good terms. Give yourself some space from this woman so you can re-adjust to your new reality. Any time spent analyzing what she's doing is time you could've spent doing work on yourself.

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Get her out of your head

Jesse Martin © 2021