Grieving everyday losses

The authors of “The Grief Recovery Handbook” describe grief as the set of conflicting emotions that accompany a change in a familiar pattern. That’s a broad definition, and they deliberately chose a broad definition. Why? Because grief is everywhere. Our familiar patterns are broken all the time and as a result we may experience conflicting […]

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Are you living in a bubble of your own creation?

Meet Steven. Steven is in pain. His girlfriend told him she needs space. She doesn’t like how he focuses on her flaws and not his own. She says she’s tried telling him, but he doesn’t change. This definitely got his attention. He realizes something needs to be done (although he’s not sure what). “She’s confused” […]

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My finacé broke up with me

Hi Jesse. A month ago my fiancé dropped the bomb on me that she’s not ready for marriage and wants to be single and independent. We’d been together for exactly two years and two months and shared the most amazing memories of my life. She was always completely loyal and I thought she was always […]

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Why do I still love her after she cheated on me?

Hi Jesse, Still feeling like shit it’s been roughly three months since this break up. Finding out she’s pregnant and then just the other week found out she’s been cheating on me with the same for about 3 months before this breakup. Every weekend she would go out with her aunt and uncle to have […]

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She used me to move on to another guy. Should I confront her?

Hi Jesse, Just wanted to say a big congratulations on the site. The advice here is pretty much exactly what I needed and relates so closely to how I’m feeling. I am 26 and my (ex) girlfriend is 24. We had been together almost 7 years before she broke up with me 5 weeks ago. […]

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Let your friends ground you in reality

When my college girlfriend left me for another guy while we were on a break, I had isolated myself somewhat from my friends. Looking back I think I sensed she didn’t mix well with my friends, so I was either with her or with my friends – never both at the same time. During the […]

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Dealing with obsessive thoughts

For many of us, our way of dealing with adversity is some form of thinking. “Oh shit, X happened. What does that mean? What should I do?” When faced with adversity we try to think our way out of our predicament. By making sense of what’s going on, we somehow hope to gain control over our […]

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Attached (Amir Levine M.D., Rachel Heller M.A.)

In Attached psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S.F. Heller break down our current understanding of Attachment Theory, how it shapes our relationships and provide us with practical instructions on how to make changes. Attachment Theory is the idea that we evolved with an innate system, the attachment system, that leads us to develop […]

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Interview: Do I miss her? Or do I miss the relationship?

This is an interview with Carl, an old friend from my uni days. I wanted to interview Carl because he’s been in several long-term relationships and he’s lived through several breakups where he wasn’t the initiator. I met up with Carl when his last relationship came to an end and I was struck by how […]

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Interview: It’s only after you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything.

This is the first a new interviews series I’m doing. In this interview I talk to William, a good friend of mine from college who (at the time of writing) went through a recent breakup with his college girlfriend. This interview is particularly interesting because at the time of writing William feels he is not […]

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