This site runs best with JavaScript enabled.

Time distortion

One difficult you may have experienced is that certain feelings — your longing for your ex in particular — can unexpectedly overwhelm you. It is easier to come to terms with these cases if we come to a better understanding why we feel overwhelmed. Your longing for your ex is linked to the longing…

Read Article →

Why does the sadness come in waves?

One of the most valuable lessons there is to learn about weathering the emotional storm of a breakup is realizing that the pain, the sadness, the negative emotions, all come in waves. When we're experiencing the emotion, and the experience is such that we are "inside" the emotion, it's easy to…

Read Article →

Interview: Do I miss her? Or do I miss the relationship?

This is an interview with Carl, an old friend from my uni days. I wanted to interview Carl because he’s been in several long-term relationships and he’s lived through several breakups where he wasn’t the initiator. I met up with Carl when his last relationship came to an end and I was struck by how…

Read Article →

I shouldn't be feeling this way

Here's another common trap I see guys fall into. They say something like this: I shouldn't be feeling this way it's been 6 months (or longer)! or I shouldn't be feeling this way, we only date for 6 months (or shorter)! or I shouldn't be feeling this way, she's obviously moved on! What trap are they…

Read Article →

What to do with gifts?

I often get questions about what to do with gifts that were a present from the ex. Throwing away seems too harsh, or nonsensical (in the case of, say, a fine watch). Giving it back is a not a good idea because it can easily come across as being some type of statement. Plus it requires you to think…

Read Article →

Why it hurts

An excerpt from my book: In order to alleviate some of the pain you’re feeling, it’s worth understanding why those emotions are there in first place. By understanding their purpose, it will become easier to deal with them. Our emotional circuitry evolved over the course of millions of years. Like…

Read Article →

I can't agree with you when you say she isn't lying

From a reader: Hi Jesse, I think it’s sugar coating reality when you say she isn’t lying. Well I can’t agree with it. When a woman left you for another guy and goes into the relationship with him, you know, she didn’t pull him out of the closet, so he has to be around and to prove himself to her…

Read Article →

Get her out of your head

Jesse Martin © 2020