What to do with gifts?

I often get questions about what to do with gifts that were a present from the ex.

Throwing away seems too harsh, or nonsensical (in the case of, say, a fine watch).

Giving it back is a not a good idea because it can easily come across as being some type of statement. Plus it requires you to think through an interaction with your ex… Bad idea!

My advice is simple. Keep it simple.

Throw away the worthless stuff with no economical or emotional value. Put the rest in a box and give it a to a friend for safekeeping. Ask them to put in the their attic. And forget about. Consider the gifts thrown away.

This way you can remove these constant reminders of your ex from your immediate surroundings without having to initiate any type of interaction with your ex (which is what we want to avoid, remember?).

I can’t agree when you say she isn’t lying

Hi Jesse, I think it’s sugar coating reality when you say she isn’t lying. Well I can’t agree with it. When a woman left you for another guy and goes into the relationship with him, you know, she didn’t pull him out of the closet, so he has to be around and to prove himself […]

Continue reading...

The easy let-down

There’s a class of reasons for breaking up with someone that I call “The easy let-down”. It’s when someone’s feelings have changed to the point where they don’t want to be in a romantic relationship with the other person anymore (Passionate Love). At the same time they still feel camaraderie and Affectionate Love for the […]

Continue reading...

I did nothing to deserve this

First off, thank you for writing this post. I related with a lot of the points you made. My girlfriend left me a couple of weeks ago and I’m currently trying to piece myself together, but damn is it hard. She explained to me that our relationship had to end because she didn’t know if […]

Continue reading...

She dumped me saying she’s not over me cheating

We’ve been dating 3 years. I cheated a year ago. Thought we were past it. She dumped me a few days ago saying she’s not over it. Finally stopped being irrational and crazy emotional today but i’m just pissed that she would throw away the bond we had over one bad choice. I’m 25 and […]

Continue reading...

My ex-girlfriend emotionally cheated on me and I can’t get over it

From Alex: My girlfriend of 4.5 years recently broke up with me and it has really screwed me up. I am someone who is ready to settle down and she was also the same. I met her when she was studying to be a nurse while I already have a career. We met in Summer […]

Continue reading...

Grieving everyday losses

The authors of “The Grief Recovery Handbook” describe grief as the set of conflicting emotions that accompany a change in a familiar pattern. That’s a broad definition, and they deliberately chose a broad definition. Why? Because grief is everywhere. Our familiar patterns are broken all the time and as a result we may experience conflicting […]

Continue reading...

Are you living in a bubble of your own creation?

Meet Steven. Steven is in pain. His girlfriend told him she needs space. She doesn’t like how he focuses on her flaws and not his own. She says she’s tried telling him, but he doesn’t change. This definitely got his attention. He realizes something needs to be done (although he’s not sure what). “She’s confused” […]

Continue reading...

My finacé broke up with me

Hi Jesse. A month ago my fiancé dropped the bomb on me that she’s not ready for marriage and wants to be single and independent. We’d been together for exactly two years and two months and shared the most amazing memories of my life. She was always completely loyal and I thought she was always […]

Continue reading...

Why do I still love her after she cheated on me?

Hi Jesse, Still feeling like shit it’s been roughly three months since this break up. Finding out she’s pregnant and then just the other week found out she’s been cheating on me with the same for about 3 months before this breakup. Every weekend she would go out with her aunt and uncle to have […]

Continue reading...