The easy let-down

There’s a class of reasons for breaking up with someone that I call “The easy let-down”. It’s when someone’s feelings have changed to the point where they don’t want to be in a romantic relationship with the other person anymore (Passionate Love). At the same time they still feel camaraderie and Affectionate Love for the other person and don’t want to hurt their feelings. They may even want to keep that person in their lives for all the non-sexual non-romantic needs they fulfil. Essentially they would like to move the relationship from a romantic relationship to a friendship. So instead of saying the truth (I don’t feel sexually attracted to you anymore/I don’t see a future with you anymore) they say something like:

  • I don’t know if I want to be in a committed relationship anymore
  • I need time to be on my own
  • I need to be single for a while
  • I need time
  • I need space
  • I need a break
  • I need time to improve myself

This can be mediated by her getting attention from another guy. I’ve seen many breakups where the ex-girlfriend gives the guy an easy let-down only to move on to the next guy shortly after. Read more about why that happens here.

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