The Role of Testosterone in Breakups

Whether you’re in a relationship or not makes a big difference for your physiology and bodily chemistry.  A host of neurochemical constellations are involved in a series of complex processes that drive sets of physiological responses and behaviors. In a relationship, one of these constellations you’re likely to experience is that of attachment to your beloved. These feelings of fusion with your lover are now widely attributed to the “paternal instinct” chemical of oxytocin and the “cuddle” chemical of vasopressin.
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Meditation for Breakup Recovery

During a breakup you have to deal with a host of intense and taxing emotions. As a result you’re likely to experience considerable amounts of stress. Being in a state of stress negatively influences your emotions and it has been shown that stress will negatively impact your immune system. You can alleviate the increased psychological burden of stress with good nutrition, working out and meditation. Which makes meditation a great tool for breakup recovery.

Now most guys I know don’t meditate, and many of them wouldn’t even contemplate it. In fact, I used to be one of those guys. The arguments that ended up convincing me, weren’t related to spirituality. They were related to health.
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A General Theory of Love

A General Theory of Love

A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, M.D., Fari Amini, M.D. and Richard Lannon, M.D. is the most eloquently phrased rebuke of the conventional psychoanalyst’s take on love you can imagine. Backing their arguments up with the latest in scientific research the authors ‘set things straight’ on the topic of love.

The authors start at the beginning, explaining the evolutionary development of our triunal brain and its impact on our behavior. This forms the basis going further as they explain love – but also human behavior in general – in a very clear ‘bigger picture’. The point is made that we base our model of love on our emotional memory, which is highly impressionable as we grow up.

But the most invaluable piece of this work is the chapter on changing this – seemingly inaccessible – emotional memory. A very in-depth and profound explanation is given to what psychotherapy really does for someone, how it heals, and how it can change your emotional memory. There is no better resource to have at hand when you explore your past.

Absolutely mind blowing.

Check it out on Amazon or check out Thomas Lewis’ personal website

Why We Love

Why We Love

Why We Love by Helen Fisher is an amazing journey into the intricacies of the brain in love. Helen Fisher is a renowned anthropologist and a leader in the field of research of love, its nature and its chemistry. With amazing candor and eloquence Fisher excavates the human brain whilst high on love and walks you through every step of her reasoning.

Based on patterns observed in the brain – constellations of neurotransmitter activity – Fisher deduces three distinct patterns in which humans feel attracted: love, lust and attachment. She equates these to non-exclusive reproductive strategies, through which evolution optimally wired us to have multiple strategies to procreate.

Another interesting observation by Fisher is that the love constellations in brains of those who got rejected by their beloved, fires up, rather than dies down. Fisher proves that people feel more in love when they face adversity.

Fisher devotes an entire chapter to the brain science of romantic rejection. With a scientific perspective she goes over the feelings involved in a breakup and their root in our evolutionary history. The psychiatrist’s model for romantic rejection, where a stage of protest and a stage of resignation/despair are identified, is also discussed at great length.

Needless to say, a profound exploration of the topic of love and a must read for anyone seriously interested in the subject.

Check it out on Amazon, or visit Helen Fisher’s site.

A great, in-depth review is available here.