How Your Ex-Girlfriend Moved On So Fast

How your ex-girlfriend moved on so fast

One recurring pattern I’ve noticed in the breakup stories that guys share with me is that they are shocked at how (seemingly) fast their ex-girlfriend is able to move on.

Perhaps she started seeing someone else within days of your breakup, or she left you for another guy. Or maybe she just seems to be handling the whole breakup a lot better than you are.

The question remains: how is she able to move on so fast, and why does all this seem so much harder on you than it is on her?Continue Reading

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person by Howard M. Halpern is an interesting and educational take on love addiction from the perspective of an experienced and renowned psychotherapist. Halpern says that our attachment needs are based on the infant within us that wants to unify itself with its mother.

If, our attachment needs as an infant, somehow, weren’t adequately met, we may suffer from Attachment Hunger at a later age. Attachment Hunger is a compulsive need to attach to someone and according to Halpern is the cause of love addiction. Halpern goes as far as to say:

The mother or father to whom you looked to make you feel good, secure, and strong exists in the person with whom you are now involved; therefore, if you can get that person to love you, everything will be okay.

Halpern goes on to say that when we experience withdrawal from this addiction, we go back to that infant mindset, and time itself seems to be distorted. Thus the pain seems to be endless. Halpern shares various techniques on recognizing, breaking and overcoming the addiction.

If you’re going through a bad breakup, you’re likely to have some form of love addiction. In particular, if your breakup involves an unattainable woman, this book offers some valuable advice. That being said, the Attachment Hunger philosophy – in light of other literature such as A General Theory of Love – seems incomplete. There is for instance no mention of the influence of the later stages of development on your capacity to form healthy relationships.

Check it out on Amazon here.

Why We Love

Why We Love

Why We Love by Helen Fisher is an amazing journey into the intricacies of the brain in love. Helen Fisher is a renowned anthropologist and a leader in the field of research of love, its nature and its chemistry. With amazing candor and eloquence Fisher excavates the human brain whilst high on love and walks you through every step of her reasoning.

Based on patterns observed in the brain – constellations of neurotransmitter activity – Fisher deduces three distinct patterns in which humans feel attracted: love, lust and attachment. She equates these to non-exclusive reproductive strategies, through which evolution optimally wired us to have multiple strategies to procreate.

Another interesting observation by Fisher is that the love constellations in brains of those who got rejected by their beloved, fires up, rather than dies down. Fisher proves that people feel more in love when they face adversity.

Fisher devotes an entire chapter to the brain science of romantic rejection. With a scientific perspective she goes over the feelings involved in a breakup and their root in our evolutionary history. The psychiatrist’s model for romantic rejection, where a stage of protest and a stage of resignation/despair are identified, is also discussed at great length.

Needless to say, a profound exploration of the topic of love and a must read for anyone seriously interested in the subject.

Check it out on Amazon, or visit Helen Fisher’s site.

A great, in-depth review is available here.

The Breakup Bible

The Breakup Bible

The Breakup Bible by Rachel A. Sussman is a refreshing, effective and holistic guide to getting over a breakup. Although written specifically for women, a lot of the advice is just as valuable to men. Sussman draws from her experience as a licensed psychotherapist and lecturer specializing in relationship counseling.

Sussman’s approach is three-fold, focusing on healing, understanding and the transformation. She skillfully ties her experience as a licensed psychotherapist into this work by including detailed strategies for engaging your ex and understanding your personal Love Map.

Overall one of the best breakup guides I have read.

Check it out on Amazon or check out Rachel’s personal website.

How Do I Get Over Her?

Are you asking yourself “How do I get over her?” You’ve come to the right place. You are about to learn some of the most powerful insights and valuable techniques for getting over someone. It can take a long time to get over your ex and it can be a frustrating and tiring process. Know that it will be harder the more you are reminded of her, the more you stay in touch with her and the more you stalk her facebook page. If you haven’t already, go through my guide for men – How to Get Over a Break Up.
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How To Heal A Broken Heart

Healing A Broken HeartIn the sections on dealing with a breakup I gave you tools to survive the day-to-day challenges of a breakup. Now it’s time to give you some tools to concentrate on how to heal your broken heart.

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