How to Break Your Addiction to a Person

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person by Howard M. Halpern is an interesting and educational take on love addiction from the perspective of an experienced and renowned psychotherapist. Halpern says that our attachment needs are based on the infant within us that wants to unify itself with its mother.

If, our attachment needs as an infant, somehow, weren’t adequately met, we may suffer from Attachment Hunger at a later age. Attachment Hunger is a compulsive need to attach to someone and according to Halpern is the cause of love addiction. Halpern goes as far as to say:

The mother or father to whom you looked to make you feel good, secure, and strong exists in the person with whom you are now involved; therefore, if you can get that person to love you, everything will be okay.

Halpern goes on to say that when we experience withdrawal from this addiction, we go back to that infant mindset, and time itself seems to be distorted. Thus the pain seems to be endless. Halpern shares various techniques on recognizing, breaking and overcoming the addiction.

If you’re going through a bad breakup, you’re likely to have some form of love addiction. In particular, if your breakup involves an unattainable woman, this book offers some valuable advice. That being said, the Attachment Hunger philosophy – in light of other literature such as A General Theory of Love – seems incomplete. There is for instance no mention of the influence of the later stages of development on your capacity to form healthy relationships.

Check it out on Amazon here.

A General Theory of Love

A General Theory of Love

A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, M.D., Fari Amini, M.D. and Richard Lannon, M.D. is the most eloquently phrased rebuke of the conventional psychoanalyst’s take on love you can imagine. Backing their arguments up with the latest in scientific research the authors ‘set things straight’ on the topic of love.

The authors start at the beginning, explaining the evolutionary development of our triunal brain and its impact on our behavior. This forms the basis going further as they explain love – but also human behavior in general – in a very clear ‘bigger picture’. The point is made that we base our model of love on our emotional memory, which is highly impressionable as we grow up.

But the most invaluable piece of this work is the chapter on changing this – seemingly inaccessible – emotional memory. A very in-depth and profound explanation is given to what psychotherapy really does for someone, how it heals, and how it can change your emotional memory. There is no better resource to have at hand when you explore your past.

Absolutely mind blowing.

Check it out on Amazon or check out Thomas Lewis’ personal website

The Breakup Bible

The Breakup Bible

The Breakup Bible by Rachel A. Sussman is a refreshing, effective and holistic guide to getting over a breakup. Although written specifically for women, a lot of the advice is just as valuable to men. Sussman draws from her experience as a licensed psychotherapist and lecturer specializing in relationship counseling.

Sussman’s approach is three-fold, focusing on healing, understanding and the transformation. She skillfully ties her experience as a licensed psychotherapist into this work by including detailed strategies for engaging your ex and understanding your personal Love Map.

Overall one of the best breakup guides I have read.

Check it out on Amazon or check out Rachel’s personal website.

How Do I Get Over Her?

Are you asking yourself “How do I get over her?” You’ve come to the right place. You are about to learn some of the most powerful insights and valuable techniques for getting over someone. It can take a long time to get over your ex and it can be a frustrating and tiring process. Know that it will be harder the more you are reminded of her, the more you stay in touch with her and the more you stalk her facebook page. If you haven’t already, go through my guide for men – How to Get Over a Break Up.
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