Your different personalities

Have you ever felt a certain way about something only later to completely lose that feeling and even to have a hard time remembering how you felt in the first place. Sometimes you’re motivated to do something and it seems to happen automatically. Other times it seems like a chore, like an uphill battle. What’s the difference? I don’t necessarily have an answer to that question but I’ve learnt a different way of looking at this phenomenon.

The way I look at it is that you as a person do not comprise of just one personality. Rather, you possess different personalities which live along side one another. These personalities can have different, yet compatible, motivations that express themselves at different times. Sometimes, however, these motivations are opposed to one another and put you at odds with yourself.

Sometimes I’ll be in more of a lazy, laid back, mood. I won’t feel like pursuing the goals I’ve set out when I was in a more focused, ambitious mood. I used to resent those feelings and fight those moods. I used to hate my laziness and scold my inability to retain focus. Now I look at those things differently.

One of my personalities is a laid back Jesse. This laid back Jesse believes life isn’t just about rushing yourself and working non-stop at the expense of forgetting the current moment. This Jesse won’t often dictate my mood, but on occasion, her is.

I used to fight this version of myself, but more recently I have learnt to embrace him. I have learnt to relish in his idiosyncrasies. Much like embracing your emotions, embracing your personalities is a useful mindset to adopt.

When I’m feeling laid-back-Jesse, I no longer impose ambitious-Jesse’s goals on myself. Conversely, when I’m feeling ambitious-Jesse, chilling out just isn’t what I’m in the mood for.

This is a mindset which give me peace of mind and allows me to leverage each personality’s strengths and deal with the weaknesses.

People, whether they know it or not, often think in these terms already. When someone says “part of me wants…” they’re labelling their different personalities and their personality’s moods.

Thinking back to my breakup, I remember part of me feeling pissed off, part of me feeling relieved and part of my feeling incredibly sad and alone. These feelings would flare up, sometimes one after the other, sometimes at the same time.

Looking back, it feels as if I had multiple personalities with their associated emotions that were surfacing in waves.

Recognizing and labelling those personalities allows you to better understand them, and distance yourself from them.

About Jesse

I've been helping guys recover from their breakups since 2012. Work with me to fast-track your recovery.